Late Night With Not Me
Yesterday, it was formally announced that Jimmy Fallon (he of “Saturday Night Live” and “Idiot Boyfriend” fame) will be taking over NBC’s “Late Night” program when Conan O’Brien moves to “The Tonight Show” next year. This is a crushing blow to me personally. Back in 2005, when the first rumblings of a vacant “Late Night” chair were heard, I launched an online petition to convince NBC I was the right man for the job.
I was certain the twenty-some odd signatures I garnered would impress someone high up at the network. Apparently not. I suppose having been previously employed in television worked in Mr. Fallon’s favor. God, I knew I should have taken that job as an intern on “Moesha.” I don’t know, it just felt beneath me at the time. Sigh. I’m so stupid.
Unfortunately, I cannot find the link to my old “Late Night” petition. A quick Google search turned up nothing. I fear it’s lost to history. Gone forever are my friends’ generally supportive comments and the few oddball declarations from “Tom Cruise” and “George Lucas.” Oh well. In my own petition’s absence, I officially lend my name and support to the following causes:
Mark Hamill Should Have His Own Reality TV Show
Bring Back Mayor McCheese
Petition For A “Roseanne” Convention
Petition For A “Star Wars” Theme Park
I respect NBC’s decision and would hereby like to congratulate Jimmy Fallon on his new job. Way to go, Jimmy. Here’s to a successful run. Please feel free to use any of the following ideas I was saving for the first season of “Late Night with James Greene, Jr.”:
- a weekly game of “Spin the Bottle” with the show’s guests
- an entire show filmed at an abandoned amusement park
- an entire show filmed under water
- an entire show filmed in an airport lounge
- “Wig Night,” where everyone (audience included) has to wear a wig
- “Rap Night,” where every guest has to rap whatever they say
- “Karaoke Night,” where every guest has to sing what they say
- fly girls
- fly guys
- Gary Coleman in a robot costume
- Todd Bridges fighting Gary Coleman in a robot costume
- an entire show filmed at Larry Hagman’s house
- “Nude Night,” where every guest is naked
Good luck, Fallon. I’ll be watching to see if any of this stuff turns up.
Tags: Conan O'Brien, Late Night, Jimmy Fallon, Gary Coleman in a robot costume, Mayor McCheese
