Recycled Indiana Jones Jokes

From yesterday. I’m saving the environment with these hilarious quips:

- I found episodes of “Father Dowling Mysteries” more intriguing than Indiana Jones and the Look Who My Dad Is, LOL. I mean, come on. Last Crusade came out in the Summer of 1989. Its competition was Batman, Ghostbusters 2, UHF, and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. The best they could do was Sean Connery and some Biblical cup? Sorry, Dr. Jones, but if your movie didn’t have Slimer, the Joker, Rick Moranis, or “Weird Al” anywhere in it, I just didn’t give a shit!

- I hear the dead alien at the end of the new Indy movie is E.T. That might be enough to get me in the theater. They should go all out. Put E.T. in a Delorean with a lightsaber, the little girl from Poltergeist, a piece of the ship from Amistad, and a copy of 1941 on DVD. That’s called full circle. Harrison and Shia exchange confused glances, Russians drop a few nukes and blow the entire planet up, credits roll with totally slammin’ Indiana Jones-related DMX track. That’s how it has to end if they expect it to be on par with the other movies. Is it too soon to whisper Oscar?

- I’m pretty sure in that new trailer Indy moves Marion directly into the path of that giant spinning thing towards the end. What a dick. I guess he didn’t see their reunion lasting.

- Alternate Indy 4 titles: Indiana Jones and the Holy Shit, Did That Box Say Roswell?; Indiana Jones and the Why Is This Questionable Greaser Following Me Around?; Indiana Jones and the Hey, Karen Allen Is Back! Alright!

I might go buy the Indy trilogy today. I hear the extras on the new set are pretty killer. Only time will tell where I take my stimulus check. Thanks, lousy economy!

Tags: E.T. in a DeLorean with a lightsaber, Indiana Jones, questionable greaser following me around, Slimer, the Joker