Unsolicited Simpsons Review: Bart the Genius

With America’s favorite yellow family all over the news this week (their new ride opened at Universal Studios yesterday; news broke today that the cast is apparently asking for another pay raise before Season 20 starts), why not post my second completely unwarranted and entirely unnecessary “Simpsons” review? Show me a reason not to and I’ll show you my five-sided fistagon!

Episode #2
“Bart the Genius”

Original airdate: January 14, 1990

Plot: Bart exacts his revenge upon a fellow classmate by swapping tests; this lands the spiky-haired Simpson in a school for geniuses where he clearly does not belong.

Iconic element(s): This episode marks the introduction of Bart’s less-hilarious-every-time-you-hear-it catchphrase “Eat my shorts.” The famed “Kwyjibo” also stems from this outing, a term Bart claims is slang for “a big dumb, balding North American ape with no chin and a short temper.”

Jokes that made me laugh out loud: Homer’s lament at the opera (”Geez, no beer, no opera dogs…”).

Notes: Thematically speaking, “Bart the Genius” covers a lot of territory. Aside from teaching us that cheating is bad because it might paint you into a corner where kids who are smarter than you will con you out of your lunch via scientific mumbo-jumbo, it also highlights the following important life lessons:

- One out of four Americans hates playing Scrabble
- Weiner is an acceptable spelling of wiener
- Word problems can be frustrating enough to lead to petty crime
- Intelligent people often like lame humor (”R D R R!”)
- Father/son kisses are generally pretty awkward

All true, all extremely valuable.

This is the “Simpsons” episode that established the fact Bart was America’s newest bad-ass. Look out, citizens of 1990! This kid steals bus stop signs! He vandalizes his school during recess! He mixes acids and bases! Ooh, what a lil’ stinker! He makes Dennis the Menace look like Beaver Cleaver, so watch your back, Father Knows Best! This kid has a slingshot and no respect for authority!

Of course, Bart was a little more fleshed out than all the critics would have liked to believe. Regret and guilt nag at Marge’s special little guy throughout his first flagship outing, eventually leading to a heartfelt confession at journey’s end (Homer, naturally, is enraged by his son’s lies, which spurns the classic naked green chase sequence that concludes “Bart the Genius”). Sure, Bart would have his epic misadventures in years to come, but the kid clearly had/has some pathos.

I mean, he’s not like this surly nightmare.

You know what’s strange about this episode? After Bart switches tests, we never see what kind of hell Martin goes through with his erroneous results. Do his parents ground him from Computer Camp? Does the school put him in a remedial class? I feel like they missed a great opportunity for some awesome gags there. Who knows, maybe they wrote some stuff and it got cut out it.

I’d also like to point out that the depiction of Krusty on the cereal box seen in “Bart the Genius” is frightening as hell. Jesus Christ. Off model much?

One more thing: did any of the palindrome kid’s palindromes actually work? I don’t think they did. I’m too lazy to look at the show again to make sure, but I found myself repeating them a few times in my head during that scene because some of the letters weren’t adding up.

Grade: Three R D R Rs (out of four).

Tags: Bart, Homer, R D R R, Scrabble, The Simpsons