Area Teen Has No Concept Of Shame, Is Hero To Nation

Videos like this are the reason YouTube was invented. Like, you can just cram all your parkour, all your OK Go Rube Goldberg nonsense, all your elaborate group wedding proposals executed with military precision—please, just give me gangly adolescents with no vocal talent screaming along and dancing shamelessly to popular music.

This kid totally owns his disaster here. In the parlance of the Internet, he gives zero fucks that his voice is aural diarrhea and that he can barely mount those giant orb fixtures. Also, when his headstand fails, he doesn’t start crying…he just gets up, screams, and charges the camera like a Native American war hero. How has his belt move not caught on in the clubs yet? Why is everyone doing that stupid horse dance from “Gangnam Style” (which, by the way, is like the Blink-182 of wacky music videos) when they could be beltin’ it up like Stretch Minaj over here?

I hope this kid gets grows up and gets elected to some visible form of government, because his attitude is the future and can probably save us all from economic and social misery.

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