I Just Don’t Believe You, Google

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@hotcoffeelawsut @doesntmattr The three iguanas he surely owns don't count as an audience. 12 hours ago
@hotcoffeelawsut @doesntmattr Everyone should wait for the audiobook read by Matt R. His impeccable diction was in mind when I wrote it. 12 hours ago
RT @doesntmattr: I don't like to plug things but "These Pagers Leave Messages: 1980-2003" by @HoneyIShrunkJG2 is out this week. Go get a co… 12 hours ago
My father's pressuring me to move into Trump Tower via imagined Powerball winnings so he can drop by and try to meet Bruce Willis. #stalker 12 hours ago