Captain Lou Haiku

Rubber bands in beard
Cyndi Lauper by your side
true original.

“Weird Al” Haiku

Wary of new song
broke down and scoped it today
the best Yank in years.

More Assorted Vacation Haikus

Outside Seattle
“Twin Peaks” filming locations
nostalgia trip, man

Met Boise senior
claimed to be American
couldn’t place Disney

Classic rock stations
love to play AC/DC
twenty-four seven

Yellowstone Nat Park
I think I saw a bear there
could have been stray dog

Devil’s Tower, wow
Richard Dreyfuss freaking out
Terri Garr’s a bitch

Mount Rushmore is small
you can barely see Teddy
rip-off U.S.A.

People at hotel
just can’t stop staring at me
“look, Jimmy Fallon!”

Assorted Vacation Haikus

Oh, those Frisco streets
dangerous roller coasters
of evil asphalt

Elk information
by phone in California
need to know basis

Oregon, Jersey
both full service gas stations
only one smells bad

Motel wi-fi, ha
more likely to see Bigfoot
fucking Sharon Tate

Road Trip Haiku

Exploring U.S.
shall blog for you when I can
time/sleep permitting

MJ Memorial Service Haikus

John Mayer on stage
slow-jamming “Human Nature”
sexy funeral

Al Sharpton’s yelling
just broke everyone’s damn ears
bring it down a notch

MJ KFC?
leave to Magic Johnson
to bring the mad LULZ

the roses look fresh
shiny, Iron Man coffin
the real Iron Mike

Unsolicited Smart People Haiku Review

Unpleasant teach and
bitchy nurse practitioner
bone; also, “Wings” guy.

Chinese Democracy Haiku

Axl’s opus flopped;
maybe we need another
decade to get it.

Twin Peaks Haiku

“Dragnet” by way of
Cure songs; prime time pop goth or
clothed McLaughlin porn.

Skwerl Haiku

No jail for Cogill
enjoy your Dr. Pepper
with the rest of us.