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Unsolicited Blah Blah Blah On “The Larry Sanders Show”

- following my umpteenth multi-season binge I have to lock “Larry Sanders” in as my second favorite tv program ever; it pulls off the show-within-a-show concept masterfully, presenting top tier Hollywood parody along side deft exploration of humanity’s awkward, painful flashes (Garry Shandling says “Sanders” is really about people searching for love, and he’s right)

- my first favorite tv program ever is “Space Ghost: Coast to Coast,” which takes the “Sanders” concept and swaps humanity for outer space-themed absurdity (elsewhere in my top five: “The Simpsons,” “Duckman”)

- for a program that ran from ’92 until ’98 it’s hard to sniff out any super dated aspects of “Sanders”; that said, it’s trippy to see the episode where they let a pre-“Daily Show” Jon Stewart take over for Larry and he runs everything into the ground, considering he did the exact opposite in real life

- I’m never prepared for that Garry Shandling/Roseanne make-out scene, and I mean that in the best way; you really get caught up in their attraction (similarly, the Mary Lynn Rajskub/Jeffrey Tambor kissing scene that you expect to be weird turns out very sweet)

- so many great little character flourishes pop up once and are never mentioned again, like Artie’s enjoyment of Pod era Breeders and the fact Paula cuts Darlene’s hair

- watch this show for too long and your head will reverberate with all of Rip Torn’s thunderous growling

- my brain would collapse into its own black hole if you asked me to name my favorite “Sanders” guest star; David Duchovny’s up there, Roseanne’s up there, Bruno Kirby’s up there, Paul Mooney, the Butthole Surfers, Wu Tang Clan, Kevin Nealon…I can already feel neurons dying

- if the holodeck from “Star Trek” was real I’d spend a stupid amount of time lounging around Larry’s office

- my favorite line from this series and possibly from television as a whole is when an exasperated Larry tells Artie, “You know, talking to you is like talking to you”; that’s a top three contender for inscription on my headstone

Unsolicited Mumblings On The Replacements Playin’ J Fallon

- just noticed the ad Fallon’s holding for their show at the tennis stadium Photoshops the PTMM arms into tennis jackets; nice one

- the new guitarist has Goo Goo Doll hair/air; at least he fits sonically

- I hope I rock a t-shirt as well as Westerberg when I’m fifty

- they sound great, but I’d still like to hear a reunion with Mars back on drums

- the ending tease was cruel; my heart leapt that they might play another

Q: Favorite Batman Villain?

A: Gorshin’s Riddler. Cartoony but unquestionably malevolent. Very strong currents of rage, madness. Possibly more intelligent than the rest of the Bat-villains, even Bookworm. A laugh that could shatter glass (too bad for Cesar Romero, whose Joker debuted later and never found a chuckle as iconic).

Thank dog the ’66 Batman series is finally coming to home video this year. There just ain’t enough classic Gorsh on that YouTube.

Slingback Sunday

Here’s another classic from 2010: yours truly in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, hovering near that neighborhood’s somewhat infamous bootleg Ectomobile. Spotting this car would have been plenty of excitement for one afternoon, but since New York City is New York City that day I also met comedy star John Gemberling at a coffee shop, drank pea soup at a pea soup dispensary, was issued a police citation for being in the park after sunset, and attended a cookie bake-off where the dj played nothing but death metal.

Not that it matters now, but I wasn’t actually in the park after sunset, I was in the park during sunset. That stuck in my craw, so I contested the ticket in court. My case was sucked into this long line of vending citations; the judge got to me and I had barely confirmed my name when he quickly bellowed:

“Mr. Greene, do you know that you’re not supposed to be in the park after sundown? Great, dismissed.”

#justice

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

Have you ever noticed how United States Forest Service Chief Thomas Tidwell looks like Jack McBrayer in old age makeup? Have you also ever noticed how Arnold Schwarzenegger is melting into a Tommy Lee Jones doppelgänger? And what of Smokey Bear’s “no eye contact” policy as of late? What’s that guy hiding?

Give Me Delta Or Give Me Death

Orlando Weekly let me go last week. They said it was a budget thing, but to be honest with you I think they were sick of me pitching Delta Burke stories every day. Hey, it’s not my fault the world’s most beautiful and talented actress hails from this corner of the universe. It’s like Plato said: you can either get on the Delta Burke train or you can get flattened by it.

Stay tuned for the soft launch of my new periodical, Burke Beat, where you’ll finally learn “the real deal” about Delta’s experiences overseas filming Where The Hell’s That Gold?

The Luxury Of My Name

I can close my eyes and pretend they’re talking to me.

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