Q: Why Do You Clear Your Throat So Goddamn Much?

A: Because it’s fun and I get a kick out of annoying you?

Actually, I’m not really sure. According to the Google-box excessive throat clearing is usually the result of allergies, which I do have in various shades. However, I can’t help believing my mucus chutes are a little messed up from a severe tonsillitis I had in my twenties. It came and went a handful of times, growing more vicious with each episode, but the doctors all told me the tonsil removal procedure is risky for adults. The recovery time’s super long, and it can mess up your vocal chords permanently.

It felt like the tonsillitis had already jacked my voice to some degree (it was a little stronger before) so I took a “wait and see” attitude. Here we is, ten years later, tonsils still caught in mah throat. Haven’t had tonsillitis since (knock on wood) but I do be “a-HEMing” a lot. There are worse ailments with which to be saddled. Like taco leg, or chronic leprechaun syndrome.

The throat clearing doesn’t prevent me from “living.” I made it to the top of Pike’s Peak a few years ago with no problems. I’ve been to Des Moines and no one tried to choke me out. I can do everything a regular throat clearer can do. Swimming, horseback riding, making shitty tampon jokes.

Please, save your pity. Save it for the thousands of Americans who live with the indignity of taco leg. They’re the ones who really need it.

Keep The Faith (In Our Michael Jackson Podcast)

Finally, Rollie and I reach the most dismal song on Dangerous and spend two hours trying to avoid talking about it. At least you will finally learn the origin of our friendship and a few interesting facts about Marilu Henner.

Yax Jax 012: “Keep The Faith”

Only two more episodes of this grand experiment. Then, of course, our wrap party episode, which will be five hours long I’m sure and guest star several hilarious and notable figures. #yaxxonjackson4life

One Way Ticket To Pluto?

The adventures of JG2 off-world continue with my first contribution to long form science magazine Matter…please, enjoy this feature about America’s new privatized space race:

Lost In Space City

As always, I thank you (the reader) for your support.

Will You Be There To Listen To Our Michael Jackson Podcast?

This is it, folks. This is really it. The new record holder for longest episode of “Yaxzon Jackson.” Two and a half hours. BOOSH. Special guest Kirk Howle joins us to help pick apart a real whale of a song. See, ’cause it’s the song from Free Willy. The movie about the whale. I suppose you could say our episode here is a whale itself. In our defense, there’s so goddamn much to cover. MJ’s continued disregard for punctuation. MJ’s unexpected disregard for Beethoven. Jason James Richter. Jesus Christ and his Messiah complex. The Goonies. Multi-instrumentalist Teddy Riley. Whale sperm.

Yax Jax 011: “Will You Be There”

Thanks once again to all our listeners and to my cohost Rollie Hatch for masterminding this orca of an undertaking. I love you all.

Station Identification

My name is James Greene, Jr. (please, call me James) and I am a freelance writer. My work has appeared in such storied publications as Crawdaddy!, Orlando Weekly, New York Press, PopMatters, Splitsider, Geek Monthly, Nerve, and Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. I also wrote the liner notes to Gluecifer’s best of/rarities album Kings Of Rock (currently out of print).

The one book to my name is This Music Leaves Stains: The Complete Story Of The Misfits. Please to be consulting the This Music Leaves Stains F.A.Q. for pertinent details. According to the Austin Chronicle I “pull no punches” as I “accurately and respectfully” relate the tale of New Jersey’s most celebrated punk rockers. According to Superchunk drummer Jon Wurster my book is good enough to photograph yourself with at an airport.

Personals: I was born and raised in the southwest corner of Connecticut, the Nutmeg State. Oh, what a state of nutmeg in which we lived and breathed. Brooklyn, Albany, and Florida have also been home. I’ve never been married and I’ve never owned land. I’ve also never had my tonsils out. I had a dog once. Her name was Minnie. I fed her carrot sticks.

I have a BA in organizational communication from the University of Central Florida. Yes, the college where they shot “Superboy.” Somehow Disney still reigns as Orlando’s most popular tourist destination.

You can hear the sound of my voice on Yaxzon Jackson, the podcast wherein I discuss Michael Jackson’s Dangerous with Rollie Hatch.

That’s all for now. Thanks for visiting.

We Command You To Give In To This Michael Jackson Podcast

Hilarious pundit C. LeMar McLean joins us for the most recent episode of “Yaxzon Jackson” to discuss the confusing anthem “Give In To Me.” Things really heat up when we decide to tear Slash a new hat hole!

Yax Jax 010: “Give In To Me”

Apologies for not posting these eps in a more a timely manner. I have no excuse and should be beaten with a shoe for my insolence.

I Was Listening To The Meatmen

Working on an official bio to put on this here scribble pad. Might use this photo. I look semi-profesh but also a smidge fun and my name is right there on the jacket. What more does anyone need to know from looking at me?

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