Crazy-Ass Dream: Improv Comedy War Game Healing

There was some kind of war game going on deep in the woods of New England that my friends and I stumbled upon. We got “captured” by these macho bro dudes who then decide they’re going to “hunt us for sport.” Not literally, though. We just had to go hide in the woods and if they found us, I guess we “died” and/or had to sit in their crappy little jail.

The game began and I ran as far as I could, jumping over logs and tumbling through bushes. I got to the top of a slight hill and realized I could probably hide out on the other side without anyone ever knowing. I was surprised to find on the other side a suburban housing development. A group of two story houses with kids and dogs and nicely manicured lawns…the American dream. I sat down on a curb and prepared for a long chill session.

Suddenly I heard a very loud harmonica. That’s never a good sign. A cargo van pulled up and my high school librarian hopped out with a group of pre-teen girls. They were the anti-war game unit, apparently, who rescued people like me. I guess the macho bro dudes were forcing a lot of area residents to participate in their fake battles and the cops weren’t doing anything about it. Thus, this traveling band of Miley Cyrus fans and a librarian.

I was too tired to ask questions. I got in the van and they took me to the first phase of “deprogramming”: improv comedy. I had to get up and, you know, pretend a bunch of stuff was in front of me and make jokes about it. How this was supposed to ease the pain of being in a war game is beyond me. Again, I didn’t have a whole lot of fight in me, so I went along with it.

What’s funny is I think these improv people made me wear some kind of costume or get-up like a cult member. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Another interesting thing: in this dream, cars were able to drive through giant snow drifts with absolutely no problem. It’s like they were just giant piles of cotton or something.

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