Casting The Live Action “Futurama” Movie That Will Inevitably Be Made

…Once Hollywood completely runs out of ideas. See if you strongly agree or violently disagree with my casting choices here.

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SAM HUNTINGTON as Philip J. Fry

samh

Okay, he’d probably have to wear a wig, but he’s got the right energy. Fry is basically just a dimwitted version of Jimmy Olsen, and that’s exactly who Sam played in Superman Returns.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: that slouchy kid from The Squid and the Whale, Jesse Eisenberg (he’d also have to wear a wig).

ANNA PAQUIN as Turanga Leela

Turanga?

She’s sexy, she’s spunky, she can do action (as evidenced by the X-Men movies), and it doesn’t seem completely unrealistic that she’d take pity on Sam Huntington and go out with him.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Zooey Deschanel (but just barely).

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. as Bender “Bending” Rodriguez

I minored in Robo-American studies.

Okay, the robots in this imaginary “Futurama” movie would probably be all CGI or whatever, but I think it would be a real hoot to just slap a cardboard robot costume on Robert Downey and have him drink and swear through the whole thing. It would be a delicious pun on his Iron Man stature.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Nick Nolte.

SIR IAN MCKELLEN as Professor Farnsworth

Sir Ian McKellen

Good news, everyone! Who else could play the eternally out-to-lunch fossil that is Hubert H. Farnsworth? No one, I tell you, no one!

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Weren’t you listening? No one!

JAMES EARL JONES as Hermes Conrad

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I know Hermes is supposed to be much younger. I just want to hear James Earl Jones say all those crazy Jamaican expressions in an obviously fake accent.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Anthony Anderson

JONAH HILL as Dr. Zoidberg

jonah

Same concept as Downey in robot costume—Jonah Hill would just be doing a terrible Zoibberg impression in a really shitty lobster costume. Just imagine him doing the voice and the movements and you’ll be sold.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Seth Rogan (natch).

CHARLYNE YI as Amy Wong

charlyne

You may remember her as the stoner girl from Knocked Up. She could probably do Amy justice.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: I want to say Rosario Dawson, but that would clearly take a job away from an Asian-American actress. So I don’t know.

SCOTT ADSIT as Dr. Wernstrom

scott_adsit

Slap some old guy makeup on Scott here and you’ve got Wernstrom.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Dave Thomas?

TYRESE GIBSON as Barbados Slim

Barbados Slim!

Come on, like you wouldn’t pay eleven bucks to see Tyrese as Barbados Slim, mocking a clearly flustered James Earl Jones. That could be a whole spin-off movie!

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Tyson Beckford. Man, what’s with all the hot black guys named Ty? It’s an epidemic!

SPENCER BRESLIN as Cubert Farnsworth

Spenser Breslin

Again, I’m straying from the source material. Cubert is supposed to be six or ten, and this kid’s already almost twenty. I bet he could pull off prepubescent still, though. Give him a haircut and dress him like a chump. Look, no clone is perfect, right?

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: The kid from Jerry McGuire or maybe one of the twins from “The Suite Life.”

ABE SAPIEN FROM HELLBOY as Kif

abesap2

Oh SNAP! Perfect. Just lose the real fishy parts and there’s your Kif. David Hyde Pierce can even do the voice again.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Mr. Burns from the “X Files” episode of “The Simpsons.”

JANE FONDA as Mom

jane-fonda-74627

The quintessential looks-nice-but-is-probably/definitely-a-huge-bitch-behind-closed-doors actress (in my opinion, at least).

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Betty White.

CAROL KANE & BILLY CRYSTAL as Leela’s parents

Mutants.

Okay, I’ll admit, this is a bit of stunt casting, but I think these two could pull it off sans medieval garb and silly accents. Audiences would get a kick out of seeing their triumphant return as an old married couple.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTES: The mom from “Everybody Loves Raymond” and Jerry Stiller.

CASPER VAN DIEN as Zapp Brannigan

casper_van_dien_04

I don’t think he’s as built as Zapp, but look at that face. I mean, just look at that goddamn face. Does that say hollow, egotistical action buffoon or what?

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Tom Arnold.

PAUL TEUTUL, SR. as Scruffy the Janitor

paulsr

Sold on the mustache alone.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: An 1890s boxer.

BRAD GARRET as Elzar

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I can easily see this guy loading up the spice weasel.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Emeril Lagasse. Kinda sad he’s only second in line to play the character he inspired. Oh well. That’s Hollywood!

DANNY AIELLO as Mr. Panucci/Sal

danny_aiello

Audiences love to see this guy yell at people in a pizza shop. He can do double duty as Sal, the fat Bronx guy who puts an ‘s’ on the end of all his words.

ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Artie Lange (if he’s still alive).

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32 responses to “Casting The Live Action “Futurama” Movie That Will Inevitably Be Made”

  1. Boss Hog says :

    What, no Calculon?

  2. jamesgreenejr says :

    Calculon would be CG, probably. Voiced by Billy Zane? I don’t know.

  3. nibblerfan says :

    I think ‘The Hoff’ would be a much better Zapf Branigan. He wouldn’t even have to act.

  4. al says :

    How about vince vaughn as bender

  5. Ben says :

    Jona Hill would make a terrible Zoidberg, but I guess he’s been terrible at everything he’s done anyways.

  6. Anonymous says :

    nicw

  7. Anonymous says :

    fucking dumb as hell!!!!!!!!!

  8. Anonymous says :

    dumb

  9. anthony michael says :

    man i hope this is real!
    ive been a futurama fan for ever!!!!1
    but they need to make zack braff.and leela needs to be more bad ass! like jessica alba!!!!

  10. anthony michael says :

    totall error my bad i meant to say zack braff should be fry and jessica alba(or someone as equal in badassness and sexyness)as leela

  11. Chris Kelly says :

    Zoidberg, Hermes and Amy are completely wrong. Everything else is quite perfect. However, I think that John DiMaggio should continue to do the voice of Bender with him being animated. Still, I think Zach Braff was be perfect for the part of Fry.

  12. Burd says :

    your picks are hilarious

  13. calculon says :

    Ray’s brother would be a terrible Elzar. Elzar talks very slick, not dopey. And besides Brad Garreg (or whatever) has no range.

    I would go with John Leguizamo. He’s cool and has that slick Elzar feel

  14. calculon says :

    Great job on this site though by the way! I didnt wanna just come here to bash.

    Also, Amy Wong is supposed to be cute and sexy…. should go with someone different. Wei Zhao, but more american

  15. Ashley says :

    SAM HUNTINGTON as Philip J. Fry hells no… should totally be played by shaun pegg (sp?) the guy from “shawn of the dead” and “Hott Fuzz”

  16. mky says :

    I’ve always thought that porn star Evan Stone would make a great Zap Branigan. Have you seen Pirates?

  17. mees says :

    this is going to be failure movie! I think Leela would look ridiccoulus😦

  18. Anonymous says :

    bruce cambell for zap

  19. Chris says :

    Awful selections.

  20. Anonymous says :

    Calculon has stated before that he was also every other major acting robot in history. Including David Duchovny. I think the choice is clear.

  21. jeff says :

    wow a futurama live action movie what a sweeeet & taSTY idea

  22. jeff says :

    if there are any parts to play i’d love to try out for one

  23. Hannover says :

    Worst casting picks ever on just about every character! Anna Paquin is too short and frail to be Leela, James Earl Jones?? Give me a break. And Robert Downey as Bender? Lame!! Since bender would have to be CGI anyways, I don’t see why they couldn’t just use John Di Maggio for the voice since it would NEVER be the same without his voice. I won’t even go into how god awful the remaining picks are and I guarantee if they did make a live action movie none of those people would be cast. And if by some fluke of the universe it did get made with those pics, it would be the worst movie ever I guarantee it. Nothing like the Futurama we know and love.

  24. Anonymous says :

    I think some of the characters were ok but some didn’t fit at all… First Amy was supposed to be rich good looking and really really cute and pretty even if she was kind of ditsy, so maybe Brenda song? Also evrybody wants to make leela hot but they forget she has to be really tough and bossy, not just pretty. Maybe Jessica beil or even someone a little more older than that but someone with muscles. I liked the idea of Jane fonda as mom… She is way more prettier than mom but she could deffinately pull off a villain type woman. I liked the others ok except Ian is a little to serious to be the prof and phissically nothing like him and Hermes? I’m not going to say anything lol. Loved the janitor though really has the right mustash

  25. Brandon says :

    These choices are so terrible… That’s really all there is to say lol. Every single one of them.

  26. Ang says :

    Concerned with the lack of LaBarbara. Lauryn Hill maybe?

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  29. Laura says :

    Ummmm if zoiberg and bender are CGI their original voices do just fine. Not like they are dead ?! Common people.

    Betty white as mom had me laughing. Make it happen!!

  30. Paul says :

    What about Lurr ruler of omicron perci 8?

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