Recent Entries From JG2’s TV Viewing Journal

“MonsterQuest”: This show has squeezed out a surprising three seasons, proving the world of cryptids extends far beyond the holy trinity of Bigfoot, Loch Ness, and Chupacabra. Granted, they never flippin’ find anything (aside from the Greenland Shark, “MonsterQuest’s” sole success story), but I think the point of this show is merely to raise awareness. For instance, I had no idea there was a “Grass Man” in Ohio—I mean, aside from Purple Pete, the dealer behind the Donut Hole on 5th Street in Akron. So far, the episodes this year have been great. The one about the Jersey Devil was particularly excellent. I don’t know what was scarier—the old timey reenactments of the Jersey Devil’s “birth,” the sculpture that guy made based on the sighting that kid and his mom had, or the kid’s pale adolescent visage replete with long hair and “fuck you” scruff. Chills n’ thrills all around. Love the announcer’s smokey voice, too. I bet he’s wet the panties of more than one willing lass at the Russian Tea Room.

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”: Conan’s replacement has experienced a pretty wonky liftoff (as expected), but he brings enough funny at 12:30 to justify his existence. Asking Mayor Bloomberg to pose for a picture in front of Castle Grayskull was alotta yuks, especially when they were having so much trouble getting it up on the green screen. Giving everyone in the audience Warheads was slightly inspired. Still, in terms of personality, Craig Ferguson nukes Jimmy Fallon back to the stone age every night. Fergie rants and raves and goes on wild, no return tangents unlike anyone else on the tube right now (yes, Regis, I agree with you). Even if Giggly Jim pulls his act together, I think history will ultimately remember Craig as the superior host, the guy who whole-heartedly deserves the next serious late shift promotion.

“Reaper”: I feel like someone pitched a Ghostbusters TV series based on Ayroyd’s original “hell on earth” script idea for GB3 and this is what we got when Sony wouldn’t license Venkman and his pals. “Reaper” is amusing, but it suffers from too many stock characters, too many predictable jokes, and, on occasion, some really awful special effects. Kevin Smith had/has something to do with this show, which I’m sure is affecting my bias. That guy needs to take his comic books and bowling shirts and mumbly back-of-the-classroom demeanor and do something not gratingly obnoxious already.

“American Dad”: This show has really come into its own. Great rhythm, great stories, fresh jokes, great performances by the voice cast…totally my current TV obsession. The first show in ages that I’ll purposely watch episodes of over and over again just for the LULZ. So many quotables. “Are we talking Q? Are we talking Q?” “An autopsy showed the hamster was pregnant.” “Son of a bitch Superman II’d me!” That last one’s constantly on the tip of my tongue. I’ve been waiting very patiently for someone to come along and Superman II me already (by which I mean I’ve been waiting for someone to hire Richard Lester to complete me).

“Throwdown with Bobby Flay”: I never see Bobby Flay win any of these. I’m not even sure he really knows how to cook. He lost one the other night that was fried chicken because he made his oil too hot. What the flarg? What the hell does this guy make in his restaurant? Grilled cheese and Tollhouse cookies? If I see Bobby Flay get his ass handed to him in another one of these throwdowns, I’m gonna petition for his Food Network resignation.

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