Menu For The Ramones-Themed Restaurant I Plan To Open
HEY HO, LET’S GOs!
New York, NY
“Where the elite meet ta eat (an’ sniff glue).”
EAT THAT RAT (APPETIZERS):
Blitzkrieg Poppers – jalapeño poppers served w/ creamy dipping sauce.
Adios Amigos – you’ll need a siesta after this nacho platter.
Chicken Beak Boy Strips – they’re free if you stand on the table and cluck like a chicken.
Joey’s Delight – a handful of wheat germin shoved in your mouth by your server.
TODAY YOUR LUNCH, TOMORROW THE WORLD:
Beat on the Bratwurst – what can you do with a brat like that? Eat it!
Havana Affiar – our delicious Cuban sandwich.
The Sloth – our regular cheeseburger.
The Animal Boy – our bacon cheeseburger.
The Wart Hog – our double bacon cheeseburger.
The Doofus of Erasmus – our triple bacon cheeseburger topped with onion rings.
Everytime I Eat This Vegetable Patty It Makes Me Think of You – for all the non-meat eaters at this gig.
NOW I WANNA EAT A GOOD SALAD:
The Cobb That Ate My Brain – sure to drive you crazy.
The Garden of Serenity – our delectable Caesar salad.
NOW I WANNA SNIFF SOME SOUP:
Cream of Chicken Beak Boy – served with a real beak!
Dee Dee’s Lobster Bisque – if you don’t like it, you can kiss his cherry red asshole!
YOU’RE GONNA EAT THAT DINNER:
Johnny’s Long Island Strip Steak – first rule is it comes with your choice of sides.
Teenage Lobsterbotomy – a mouthful in more ways than one.
Psycho Therapy Pasta Bowl – the ultimate comfort dish.
We’re a Happy Fajitas – stuffed with your choice of chicken, steak, or veggies.
Chicken Vindaloo – Joey’s favorite!
The Weasel Face – a BBQ platter including brisket, pulled pork, and ribs.
Too Tough To Diet – all you can eat ribs.
SOMEBODY PUT SOMETHING IN THESE DRINKS:
Rockaway Sex on the Beach – you’ll have to hitch a ride after this one.
Forest Hills Iced Tea – a favorite of bums everywhere.
My Brain is Hanging Upside Down – our twisted version of gin and tonic.
BRAIN DRAIN (DESSERTS):
Tommy’s Death By Chocolate – if it doesn’t kill you, the guilt will!
Richie’s Raspberry Cheesecake – all he wanted was some of that t-shirt money!
The Mervin – a giant bowl of vanilla or chocolate ice cream covered in melted fudge, nuts, banana slices, and topped with an obscene amount of whipped cream.
NOTES: All the servers at HEY HO, LET’S GOs! will wear ripped jeans with sleeveless Mickey Mouse t-shirts. Naturally, there will be tons of goofy Ramones crap on the walls (tubes of glue, Pinhead masks). Whenever it’s someone’s birthday, four guys in leather jackets will race out of the kitchen and reenact the Ramones’ famous appearance on “The Simpsons.”