Crazy-Ass Dream: Eddie Murphy Is Still God

Imagine a world where Eddie Murphy never lost any of his white hot 1980s popularity. That was the world I visited in my dreams last night. Eddie was the new Elvis. Delirious and Raw were shown regularly on public transportation to keep commuters happy. Arsenio was still Eddie’s right hand man, and together they were working on some kind of large comedy science experiment throughout the country. Like, they were traveling to school parking lots and shopping centers putting on a weird 19th Century style road show that had the ultimate goal of proving something about America’s taste in comedy. Eddie and Arsenio were literally wearing lab coats for this experiment. I woke up before any conclusive data could be presented.

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