Unsolicited Austrian Death Machine Jingle Review

Austrian Death Machine
Jingle All The Way
Metal Blade
2011

Fans of this Schwarzenegger-obsessed As I Lay Dying side project will be happy to know the band’s finally come around to mocking Ahnuld’s infamously terrible (and possibly cursed) 1997 Christmas vehicle Jingle All The Way. Three speedy death metal jaunts comprise this EP, the best of which is probably the triumphant gallop “It’s Turbo Time.” Second place goes to “Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?”, in which a Phil Hartman double entendre is finally realized as stark demonic brutality. The only downer here? No overt references to Sinbad or Jake Lloyd. Otherwise, zero complaints regarding this head-slamming Yuletide delight.

FINAL SCORE: Three and a half Turbo Man dolls (out of four).

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