Drive-In Totals For Metallica: Through The Never

– one bleeding guitar
– one toy that comes to life
– one fire-breathing classic car
– one Bane rip-off on horseback
– two songs from ReLoad
– no songs from St. Anger
– no breasts
– no aardvarking
– no weeping Dave Mustaines
– no mild-manner psychiatrists
– multiple dead bodies
– multiple Robert Trujillo crab-walks
– self-immolation fu
– standup drumming fu
– Hetfield yarl fu
– L.A. riot fu
Pulp Fiction plot rip-off fu
– thirty-two year old thrash metal band playing surprisingly well fu

On a scale of one to four James Hetfields screaming “GIMME FUEW GIMME FAI!” I give this movie a solid two and a half. See it in 3-D and experience with startling clarity Lars Ulrich’s rack toms!

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