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Q: If You Could Go Back In Time Where Would You Go And Why?

A: Either 1960s California so I could try to tackle whatever that thing is in the Patterson film or 1990s Chicago so I could try to tackle that extra in Home Alone who is supposedly Elvis Presley. I’m all about the big issues.

Total Protonic Literary Reversal

The plan for my next book has always been a history of the Ghostbusters film franchise and its ancillary properties. Sadly, I must now abandon that idea. This week it was revealed (to me) that Sony, the company owning the rights to Ghostbusters, is publishing a historical volume of extremely similar parameters in September. The party delivering this news was the publishing house most interested in working with me on what I had tentatively titled A Convenient Parallel Dimension: Ghostbusters, 1974-2016. They’re open to hearing other ideas I’m sitting on; time to tear through old notebooks and ferret out potential ideas.

No need to invoke the wrath of the slor: we’re getting an officially licensed Ghostbusters history. I’m sure it’ll be wonderful. I’m actually surprised and somewhat ashamed the Sony tome slipped past my radar for so long. Turns out that Christmas leak didn’t give us everything. Also, I can admit I hadn’t exactly done mountains of work on my own GB project. Subconsciously I must have sensed this. I could feel the Twinkie expanding.

So, do you think the world needs a book about InnerSpace?

“Yaxzon Jackson” Post Game Wrap Up Gala Spectacular

You’ve listened to the entire first season of the “Yaxzon Jackson” podcast, now literally watch myself, Rollie Hatch, C. LeMar McLean, and Kirk Howle spin our wheels on Dangerous one last time. What are our final thoughts on this album? What does Kirk actually know about college football? How many Jerry Mathers jokes can we get through before we spit up on ourselves like stupid babies? Click play and find out.

Our Dangerous Michael Jackson Podcast Is Gone Too Soon

Here now, the final two episodes of “Yaxzon Jackson” Season One, in which Rollie and I discuss at length the songs that close Dangerous. Surprisingly we have little to say about a recycled Dionne Warwick ballad and a “Jam” rewrite; thus, discussion turns to Haywood Nelson, college football, the Ramones, our few listeners we know by name, and (of course) multi-instrumentalist Teddy Riley.

Yax Jax 013: “Gone Too Soon”
Yax Jax 014: “Dangerous”

Again, thanks for tuning in, and keep your eyes peeled for our self-indulgent wrap up episode where we reflect upon all we’ve accomplished podcasting about a latter day Michael Jackson album. The main difference is we’ll be wearing tuxedos.

Q: Why Do You Clear Your Throat So Goddamn Much?

A: Because it’s fun and I get a kick out of annoying you?

Actually, I’m not really sure. According to the Google-box excessive throat clearing is usually the result of allergies, which I do have in various shades. However, I can’t help believing my mucus chutes are a little messed up from a severe tonsillitis I had in my twenties. It came and went a handful of times, growing more vicious with each episode, but the doctors all told me the tonsil removal procedure is risky for adults. The recovery time’s super long, and it can mess up your vocal chords permanently.

It felt like the tonsillitis had already jacked my voice to some degree (it was a little stronger before) so I took a “wait and see” attitude. Here we is, ten years later, tonsils still caught in mah throat. Haven’t had tonsillitis since (knock on wood) but I do be “a-HEMing” a lot. There are worse ailments with which to be saddled. Like taco leg, or chronic leprechaun syndrome.

The throat clearing doesn’t prevent me from “living.” I made it to the top of Pike’s Peak a few years ago with no problems. I’ve been to Des Moines and no one tried to choke me out. I can do everything a regular throat clearer can do. Swimming, horseback riding, making shitty tampon jokes.

Please, save your pity. Save it for the thousands of Americans who live with the indignity of taco leg. They’re the ones who really need it.

Keep The Faith (In Our Michael Jackson Podcast)

Finally, Rollie and I reach the most dismal song on Dangerous and spend two hours trying to avoid talking about it. At least you will finally learn the origin of our friendship and a few interesting facts about Marilu Henner.

Yax Jax 012: “Keep The Faith”

Only two more episodes of this grand experiment. Then, of course, our wrap party episode, which will be five hours long I’m sure and guest star several hilarious and notable figures. #yaxxonjackson4life

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