Archive | The Boob Tube RSS for this section

Overheard In New York

[EXT. A PIER ON MANHATTAN’S WEST SIDE, OVERLOOKING THE HUDSON RIVER – SUNSET]

HER: [NERVOUS] I have to tell you something.

HIM: Okay.

HER: You know [GAME SHOW HOST]? I dated his son.

HIM: Really? That’s pretty cool. Honestly. Was he nice?

HER: I mean, I say “dated,” but it was really a one night stand.

HIM: Oh, okay. You know, that’s cool too.

[BEAT]

HER: I don’t want you to think I’m crazy or weird because of it. Or a slut.

HIM: [LAUGHING] Why would I think that? That’s just…life.

HER: Okay.

HIM: It doesn’t change my opinion of you.

HER: Okay.

HIM: You wanna get some fried chicken?

HER: Yeah.

Q: Do You Prefer “The Addams Family” Or “The Munsters?”

A: Oh, “The Addams Family.” Morticia and Gomez have such a beautiful relationship, full of respect and understanding and expression. Most of the time it seems they work together to solve their dilemmas. The Munsters are more typically sitcom; Lily tolerating Herman’s lunkheaded crap, even when it blows up their living room or puts him in traction. And Grandpa Munster is always egging Herman on…it’s like “Leave It To Beaver” with neck bolts. Herman and Grandpa need a goddamn babysitter.

Unsolicited Limit Takin’ On History Of The Eagles

– I’ve never been a huge Eagles fan and this three hour doc didn’t change that, though now I’m inclined to give them respect for being another band committed to their own sound; they never kowtowed to industry pressure, they just kept doin’ that Eagles thang and let success land on them

– three hours and not one reference to the “Desperado”/”Witchy Woman” plot lines on “Seinfeld”; guess most of the Eagles weren’t too thrilled with all that

– I want to say I can’t believe there was a period where these guys had their own baseball jackets emblazoned with an “E” on the front but they also had their own plane so maybe matching jackets weren’t so crazy

– I love how proud Glenn Fry is that Cameron Crowe immediately thought of him when he was trying to figure who could play a jerkier dude than Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire

– Don Henley gives off a R’as al Ghul vibe during his talking head portions (it could just be the goatee and black turtleneck)

– at one point Glenn Fry refers to Don Felder as “the biggest asshole” in the Eagles; maybe he’s right, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but I’m taking Felder’s side for now because he’s the only one in the doc who tears up while discussing all this discord (I also disagree with Fry’s assertion he and Henley deserved more cash for the reunion b/c they had solo hits)

– there are two guys named Don in this band, what are the goddamn odds?

– Timothy B. Schmit seems like a Jon Wurster character

– it hit me in the feels when they showed that note Joe Walsh’s kids wrote about how proud they are of him

– Linda Ronstadt seems cool; shame she’s too sick to sing anymore

– as suspected, they play one of those guitars with two necks on “Hotel California” (b/c hiring a fourth guitarist would have just been fucking nuts)

To Open Up The Sky’s Veins

If they made a “Freaks & Geeks” style television program about my high school years (1993-97) I’m certain this would be the theme song. It seems to capture whatever that time was about (confusion, apathy, Windows ’95). I’d also find Spacehog’s “In The Meantime” acceptable.

Potential plot lines for this program: getting my very first job at Taco Bell and nearly choking to death during my first shift after accidentally inhaling a straw wrapper; the hellish term I spent in summer school trying to pass algebra; all the bonkers stuff that happened during senior prank week (never-ending fire alarms, live mice dumped on our lunch table, a six foot cardboard cut-out of Gumby burned in effigy); various mortifications in attempted dating.

Oh, and there’s gotta be an episode that covers the shock, the grief, the utter despondence that hit my school the day Oasis cancelled the only show they were playing in the area that year. You would have thought another fucking space shuttle blew up. Oh, Noel!

A Danzigcy Defined

UPDATE: The above trailer is no longer available “due to a copyright claim by Glen [sic] Danzig,” which is weird because I thought he was the one who released it in the first place. Unless Glen Danzig is not the Glenn Danzig we know and love but some other Danzig from an alternate dimension who has come to take what he believes is rightfully his. I don’t know. My head hurts. Original text (meant to correspond with missing vid) follows.

How does one define Danzig? Maybe something like this: the type of person who would conceive his own version of Elvis Presley’s ’68 comeback special, borrow hyper-specific imagery from Elvis Presley’s ’68 comeback special to drive home the point that this in fact Glenn Danzig’s 2015 comeback special, and then highlight himself in the trailer for said comeback special making an aloof remark that “it’ll probably almost be like that Elvis thing.”

Yeah, it’ll “almost be” like “that Elvis thing,” “that Elvis thing” you’re copying to a t. “Almost.” Hoo boy, you nearly had us fooled for a second there, Glenn. I was worried about you. Nope, you’re the same ol’ crazy He-Devil!

They spent three years in post-production on “Legacy,” which I think gives credence to the rumors that most of the taping was a train wreck. At any rate, I’m interested to see it. Will Glenn Danzig actually “come back” or will this be another of his many Waterloos? Only Satan knows for sure.

#mondays

Am I right or am I right?

Unsolicited Weight On Rollins Band (Only Way 2 Know 4 Sure)

– this post is largely a reaction to episode three of the “Henry & Heidi” podcast wherein the titular Henry (Rollins) talks through the history of Rollins Band, a welcome discussion considering how often this group is neglected

– Rollins Band is a great example of how working hard and sticking to your guns always pays off in the long run, by which I mean you can play dissonant funk metal in your boxers and if you’re honest and don’t cop out eventually they’ll put you on MTV and the Grammys and Dennis Miller’s talk show

– during this oral recap Henry does not even give passing mention to the handful of years at the tail end of Rollins Band where Mother Superior was his backing group; this must mean the two albums from that period, Get Some Go Again and Nice, are to be considered non-canon

– re-evaluating the entire RB discography, End Of Silence has my favorite textures and moods, and overall it’s one of the most solid rock albums of its era, but when the urge to hear this unit strikes me the gut reaction is to reach for Drive By Shooting b/c it’s looser, darker, more “out there” (in filmspeak: Scorsese is the master but the slapdash of Tarantino is a bit more fun)

– interesting to learn about the heavy stuff going on circa Come In And Burn; you’d never know it from their 1997 “SNL” appearance, which belongs in the pile of that show’s legendary musical performances; first time I saw them rip through “Starve” in 8H I thought they were gonna melt the studio’s walls

– surprise: Rollins Band didn’t even want to record “Liar,” their biggest hit; it was just some goof song they did at practices until some industry person heard it and said, “That’s your next single!”

– when I saw Rollins Band in ’02 they were in a period where they weren’t playing “Liar,” which bummed me out, but they did encore with a handful of Ramones songs; if you think Rollins is intense normally you should see the guy doing “Blitzkrieg Bop” (Henry’s preamble to “BB”: “If I’m ever elected president, this will be the new national anthem”)

– trigger warning: if you listen to the podcast ep linked above, before you hear anything about Rollins Band you’re gonna hafta endure a somewhat gross story about Rollins having a hernia and not realizing it

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 102 other followers